


G's Secret Heartache.

by CALLEN37



Category: NCIS: Los Angeles
Genre: Angst, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Male Slash, Secret Relationship
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-06-15
Updated: 2014-10-04
Packaged: 2018-02-04 18:38:17
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 7
Words: 11,932
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1789105
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CALLEN37/pseuds/CALLEN37
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Callen has a love, but he's never told the team. When something happens to the person he holds most dear in the world, Callen moves heaven and earth to save them, having the team nearly question his sanity in the process.<br/>There is a lot of flashbacks the first few chapters, but hopefully you'll follow along.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

  
Chapter 1.  
  
  
  
Sam watched as the two came together, not caring who was watching and Callen gathered his secret love in his arms, a huge sigh of relief flooding through him and he wondered how he could I have missed it?  
  
He was an ex-Navy SEAL, he was a trained investigator and he had missed this?  
  
He grinned despite himself, at least he and Michelle could stop setting G up on blind dates now.  
  
Sam stepped back, saw the surprised looks on Deeks and Kensi’s faces, and grinned.  
  
“Did you know?” Deeks asked in a hushed voice, unwilling to disturb the couple.  
  
Sam shook his head, “No but it explains the last few days don’t you think?” he said.  
  
Deeks and Kensi could do nothing but nod, their mouths open.

* * *

  
  
It had started six weeks earlier, Callen had come into work after being set up on a blind date with Joelle, he had been polite and they had talked.   
Truth was he did have a thing for schoolteachers and brainy types but it would have never worked out and he told her so and explained why.  
  
She had taken it well, but when Michelle asked for a 1-10 score on the date, she felt bad, but honestly had to, only give it a five. Sure he was cute, but she would never be his type.  
  
Sam looked at what Michelle had sent him on the phone, he couldn't believe it, Callen had crashed and burned on a date, yet he wasn’t grousing, he was actually happy. He couldn't figure it out.  
  
For the last year Callen had been a lot less grumpy, Sam had notice, but he had assumed it was just because he had discovered things about his family and was feeling less alone.  
  
In a way Sam was right.

* * *

  
  
Callen had had one of his worst days of his adult life, he’d been so close. He had thought he’d found his father, indeed when the man said “I am Nikita Alexsandr Resnikov, I am…your father.” His heart had leapt in his chest only to be crushed seconds later as Vasilie Comescu shot the man in the back, in front of him.  
  
  
He had stared at the man as the life left his eyes still looking for any resemblance between himself and the man lying dying on the floor, then the man spoke again, “Tell him the debt is paid.”  
  
Callen sat back on his heels in shock, it wasn't his father, but it was a man who had known who he was, and who his father was….the closest link he’d ever had.  
  
  
Two hours later he stood and stared at the corpse of Michael Reinhardt, the closest link to having his questions answered when Hetty handed him the roll of film Deeks had found in the box of photos.  
  
He had felt so alone, he grabbed the box of film and nodding to Hetty and Arkady who were sitting at the main table in the boat shed sharing a pot of tea, he’d left and gone home.  
  
  
He walked into his home and put a few cartons of Chinese food on the table, smiling as he heard the shower in the other room.  
  
  
“I’m home!” he called as the water was switched off, he saw the wet-suit hanging on a hook in the garden and smiled.   
  
He dished out the Chinese getting forks out of the drawer and smiled as two arms encircled him from the back.  
  
  
“You scared me today.” The person behind him said.  
  
“I’m sorry, it was… well it was just such a shock.”  
  
  
The person behind him sighed, “I know, I hated that we had to tell Hetty first and then she ordered us not to tell you.”  
  
Callen stiffened and moved away a bit.  
  
“G?”   
  
Callen turned and grabbed the person behind him and pulled him into an embrace realizing that he was crying.  
  
“I don’t blame you, E. I will never blame you…you know that right?” Callen said staring into eyes as blue as his own.  
  
  
Eric nodded. “I know but…Then you turned up at the crime scene and we saw the explosion…I saw the explosion…I thought they were going to kill you…” he let a tear fall and Callen leaned forward and kissed it away.  
  
“Come on, let’s eat.” He said passing Eric a plate watching as the love of his life padded from the kitchen to the lounge in nothing but jeans.   
  
Callen stared at his lover with a smile. He was so lucky to have had Eric come into his life.  
  
He sat on the floor as Eric took the chair, sitting in his favorite spot; in between Eric’s legs leaning back using his legs as a backrest.  
  
With years of practiced familiarity Eric tapped on Callen’s shoulder and he lifted some of his food on a fork up and Eric tried a mouthful.  
  
Callen laughed, “I never understand why you don’t order this.” He said   
  
“I don’t like it.” Eric sighed, “But I like having a bit of yours.” He said relaxing even more.  
  
Callen leaned back, happy his plate resting on his knees, one hand on his lover’s thigh and the other on the fork feeding himself, slowly he started to relax.  
  
  
“How did you know I’d be here?” Callen asked.  
  
Eric smiled even though G couldn't see it, “After all these years, did you not think I would know where you’d go.”  
  
“I suppose, but I did for a second think about going home.” He admitted.  
  
“This is your home G.” Eric said.  
  
Callen pulled away and turned to look at Eric who was looking lovingly down at him. “Only on paper E, our apartment is my home, has been ever since you asked me to move in. Hetty just insisted I have a house as an investment.”  
  
“We could move here?” Eric suggested knowing that Callen needed the familiarity of the conversation for a moment.  
  
“What and leave your apartment, with those great views?”  
  
“You know that’s not why we stay.” Eric said smiling at Callen.  
  
Callen smirked, “Nope it’s the lousy internet signal we’d get here.” He quipped.  
  
  
Eric nodded and his eyes darkened as Callen pulled him in for a kiss.  
  
“Thank you.” Callen said as he wrapped his arms around Eric. “Thank you for always being there for me.”  
  
“Always.” Eric promised as he linked his hand with Callen’s.

* * *

  
  
  
  
A few hours later Eric lay awake in Callen’s arms having held him as he sobbed having watched the film with his father and sister and him as a baby.  
  
He had left him alone for a while, but had walked out after an hour to find G silently sobbing in the chair.  
  
“G?” he had said as he turned off the projector.  
  
“He…He loved me, E…I had a family and I was loved…” he said the awe in his voice evident.  
  
Eric smiled and reached out his hand pulling Callen to his feet, “You are loved G.” he affirmed.  
  
Callen smiled and pulled Eric to him, kissing him hungrily, “I love you Eric.” He said staring into his lovers eyes with an intensity that he’d never felt before.  
  
Eric nodded, “I know you do G…I love you too.” Eric said.  
  
Callen pushed Eric up against the wall and kissed him hungrily, “Don’t ever leave me.” He begged.  
  
“Never G, I’ll never leave you not as long as you want me.” Eric promised.  
  
“I’ll always want you.” Callen said huskily as he pulled Eric’s head down for a kiss.  
  
Eric remembered how they had got together in the first place.  
  



	2. Chapter 2

  
Chapter 2  
  
  
  
Eric had been a member of the Office of Special projects for a year.   
  
Macy Knew about him being gay but hadn't called him out on it, telling him not to mention it at work, although they were a civilian agency they did work closely with the military and it would be a good idea to adopt the current don’t ask don’t tell policy.  
  
  
Eric had looked at her, his mother who had raised him had been a free spirit, a hippy and she’d always told him never to be ashamed of who he was and that he should love the person not the gender.  
  
  
“Am…Am I the only one?” he asked afraid this would lose him the job.  
  
  
Macy shook her head, “In the LA office, No. There are a few people amongst the support staff and at least two agents.” She confided in him. “They won’t tell you who they are, unless they want to.”  
  
  
Eric sighed, “But you still want me for the job?” he asked.  
  
  
Lara Macy laughed, “Eric Beale you are the best damn tech this side of the country of course we want you, if you weren't working for us then we’d probably have to put the west coast on alert every week.”  
  
  
Eric smiled, “Thanks Ma’am.” He said.  
  
  
Lara looked at him, “Just Macy or Mace.” She said. “And welcome to the team Eric….although maybe you could wear pants?” she said looking at his board shorts.  
  
  
Eric backed away, “Is it a prerequisite of getting the job…only…I can’t wear them, I have a phobia of restrictive clothing, like claustrophobia.”  
  
  
Macy smiled, “I’ll make sure that the exclusion from the wearing of Pants is added to your contract.” She really didn't want to lose him; he was as she had said the best in his field and if that was his only prerequisite for taking the job then she could happily live with it.  
  
Eric smiled and shook her hand, “I’m in then.”

* * *

  
Eric had followed Macy out of the conference room and down the hall to sign the acceptance forms when she walked in her office to find Callen asleep on her couch.  
  
  
“G, move it, I need the office.” She smiled.  
  
  
Callen sat up, he’d been napping on Macy’s couch, his shirt was hung over a nearby chair and Eric held his breath. The man was breathtaking.   
  
Callen stretched and looked at Eric and grinned.  
  
  
“Sorry Mace, between motels again.” He explained as he sat up to grab his shoes.  
  
  
Eric passed him his shirt as Callen reached for it.  
  
For a second their hands touched and Eric felt electric shocks.   
  
He shot a look at Callen who didn't look at him at all as he grabbed his shirt.  
  
  
“Thanks” he said as he pulled it over his head.  
  
  
Eric pulled his gaze away as Lara Macy handed him his paperwork to sign to officially become a member of NCIS.  
  
  
Callen walked out of the room and closed the door.

* * *

  
  
What the hell was that? He thought to himself.  
  
  
The only person who knew that Callen was bi was Macy and she hadn't told anyone.  
  
During his years in the system Callen had developed a healthy interest in both sexes, but Macy had kept his secret well, even his new partner Sam whom he had worked with for nearly a year now still had no idea.  
  
  
But he’d nearly blown it in there; he’d felt an electric shock twice, once when he’d heard the younger man’s voice in the hallway and again when he’d accidentally brushed his hand up against his.  
  
  
Never had he had such a visceral reaction to someone.  
  
  
He shook his head and headed down to the gym to take his mind off the man with the blond hair and ocean blue eyes.  
  
  
He worked hard over the next few months hiding his attraction to the man, whom he later found out was called Eric. He used every undercover skill he had just making it look like he was not attracted to him.  
  
  
All that changed about a month after he’d been shot.

* * *

  
Finally he’d been allowed out of hospital, away from the over protective mothering of Sam and Hetty, the constant Chatter of Kensi and the nagging of Renko about safety.  
  
First chance he had got he’d upped and left, leaving a, 'will contact you; haven’t been kidnapped', note for Hetty as the new operations manager scared him slightly.  
  
  
He’d booked into the motel, sunk into the huge bathtub the room boasted of and relaxed for two hours.  
  
  
Getting out of the tub he wrapped a towel around himself and redressed his wounds as his doctor had advised and jumped as there was a knock on the door.  
  
  
Grabbing his gun he opened the door to see a tear stained Eric standing there.  
  
  
“Eric?” Callen said lowering his gun and looking shocked at the tech. For a moment he wondered if Eric had been hurt or attacked then Eric opened his mouth to speak.  
  
  
“Callen…I…I’m sorry, I shouldn't have…I…I just…” Eric broke off as he suddenly realized what Callen was wearing…or rather what he wasn't wearing.  
  
  
“Come in.” Callen said, opening the door, “Do you want a beer?” he asked.  
  
  
Eric nodded unable to say anything.  
  
  
Callen closed the door and turned to see Eric staring out of the window.  
  
  
“Eric? How did you find me?” he asked handing him a beer.  
  
  
“I was worried when my computer pinged to say you had been discharged, I…er…followed you by camera.” He admitted.  
  
  
“Why?” Callen asked taking a sip of his beer.  
hiding the warm feeling that was growing in his chest.  
  
“I…” Eric shook, “I saw the footage of your….when you were…and I was so scared…I can’t lose you…I…” Eric trailed off, if he said all he wanted to say now he could lose Callen as a friend for life.  
  
  
Callen put his beer down and took a step closer to Eric, he’d been thinking about him all the while he’d lain in that hospital bed, his laugh, the way he chewed his bottom lip as he tried to concentrate, the way he sang when he thought he was alone. He was scared too. But he’d never survived by being too afraid.  
  
  
“Eric.” He said his voice low and husky.  
  
  
Eric turned at the change in tone from Callen.  
  
  
“G? I…” He took a deep breath and closed his eyes, “I love you, I have for a while, I’m sorry if this scares you or disgusts you and you don’t want to…” Eric’s tirade was cut off as Callen took a step forward and kissed him.  
  
  
For a second Eric was stunned, and then he wrapped his arms around Callen’s torso and kissed him back.  
  
  
Callen pulled away when he needed to breathe.  
  
  
“Are you sure?” Eric asked as he looked into Callen’s eyes.  
  
  
“God…yes…I've wanted to do that since…”  
  
  
“That day in Macy’s office.” Eric finished with a smile as Callen nodded.  
  
  
“I didn't know, I would have said something sooner.” Callen said.  
  
  
“Macy said there was an Agent and a few support staff that were gay or bi but wouldn't say who.” Eric told him.  
  
  
Callen nodded, “You know we can’t tell…not anyone…ever.”  
  
  
Eric nodded, “I know…but Callen…if we do this…I…can’t, I won’t do a one night stand.” He said.  
  
  
Callen smiled, “I have issues, you know that, with my past…but…if you agree…I want more, with you I want so much more.”  
  
  
Eric looked into the deep blue eyes of his…boyfriend, partner…soon to be lover and sighed, “Me too.” He said pulling Callen towards him and dropping his towel on the floor.  
  



	3. Chapter 3

 

They had stuck together through the years, Callen taking the home that Hetty had brought for him as a cover, he hadn’t told her but six months previously, 2 years into their relationship, Callen had stopped sleeping in flophouses and motel rooms and had agreed to move in with Eric.

It had been their anniversary, and Callen had been away in Romania, following Hetty. Eric had been terrified when he’d heard about Callen’s breakdown on the beach. The sound of the pain in his lover’s voice when Director Vance said that Callen was a long way from home and Callen confessed he was actually closer to home than he thought.

He had made the decision that he loved Callen so much that when he made it back he was going to make sure he knew it.

Finally, the team had arrived back, Hetty had been whisked to hospital and Kensi and Deeks had gone with her, Callen had pulled away from the operations manager on the flight home, something was bothering him but he wouldn’t say what it was.

Eric had tracked the plane and the group all the way home and was relieved when eventually his door opened and Callen walked in and dropped his bag just inside the door.

“Eric?” Callen’s voice cracked as he closed the door behind him.

Eric stood there and stared at him, he was angry, relieved, frustrated and annoyed. A whole gamut of emotions flooded through him.

“You quit?!” he said the first thing that had come to mind. “You left your badge with Vance, walked out the door and never said a word; it wasn’t until Nell suggested I track your passport that I even knew you had left the country.” He said standing at the end of the hallway his hands in fists looking at Callen standing in the doorway.

“I’m sorry, I wasn’t thinking, I thought I owed Hetty…” Callen said not meeting his eyes, “I wish I had never gone.”

He said his voice barely a whisper.

Eric stopped and looked up. “G?”

“She knew…” Callen finally lifted his watery eyes to look at Eric, more than anything he wanted to hold him in his arms and make the last few days disappear, but he was scared that his actions had destroyed that.

“She knew what?” he asked.

“She knew the Comescu’s were out to get me, she knew that they killed my mother…I stood on the beach not feet from where she was killed in front of me.” He couldn’t look at him anymore and his shoulders slumped.

Everything….every single thing that Eric had been angry about vanished at the sight of G’s pain.

He practically ran down the hallway and pulled him into his arms.

“It’s ok you’re home now.” Eric said as Callen relaxed into his embrace.

“Am I?” he asked, “Am I home E, or is my home back there in Romania?”

Eric took Callen’s jacket off and kissed him then grabbed his hand, “Come with me…” he said softly leading him further into the apartment.

Callen followed and stopped as he saw the room lit with candlelight and a table set for a meal with rose petals scattered all over and a welcome home banner hung lopsided over the TV.

“What?” Callen asked shocked.

“Too much?” Eric said looking apprehensive, “I hope not…I have this for you…” Eric held out a ring box and Callen held his breath, opened it slowly, and smiled at the key it held.

“I already have a key to your apartment E.” Callen said with a grin.

“It’s a symbol…I kinda wanna ask you something.” Eric said, “I want you to move in here with me…full time?”

Callen pulled Eric in closer for a kiss, “Of course I will, I practically live here anyway.” He grinned.

“I mean…” Eric moved away and walked toward the table, motioning for him to sit, “I heard what you said, about not knowing where your home was, I know you’ve stayed here and I know you have a house…but I wanted your home to be where I am…is that too sappy?” he asked.

Callen looked at him and gave a smile that reached his eyes, “Thank you…I mean it E, no one has ever wanted that for me before. I want my home to be with you too.”

They ate and reaffirmed their love and later as they were lying in bed Eric turned to Callen, “We need to move your stuff here.” He said.

“Everything I own is here…apart from my box and that plant Hetty gave me.”

“You don’t have anything else?” Eric asked.

Callen smiled, “Yeah I do…” he shifted and turned lying on his arm looking into Eric’s blue eyes and smiled. “I rented a storage unit at eighteen; it’s under an alias. Hetty doesn’t know about it. I have things there.”

“Do you want to bring some things here?” Eric asked watching Callen’s last few walls, the things he had never shared with anyone going down.

“I do…but I need to leave the box at my house, Sam will notice if it’s not there, but some things from my childhood, which I managed to keep. A few things I picked up over the years for if I ever settled down, I’d like to bring some if I may…would you come with me to look?” he asked.

Eric had nodded and the next morning, true to his word, they were there the next day and with a rental truck, they moved some of Callen’s belongings into their home.

* * *

 

 

Nothing at work changed.

Sam still gave Callen a hard time about seeing people, Nell still flustered Eric every chance she got, even going to far as kissing him one Christmas while the team were away on a ship.

Sam had managed thanks to Hetty to get home to his family for Christmas. Hetty was there with Callen and Kensi and Deeks were together. Eric knew what was going on but he had missed Callen desperately. As soon as Hetty checked in with him and Nell and informed them of her safe arrival and Mr. Hanna’s flight back to the US, she informed them the rest of them would be back a few days later and wished both Eric and Nell a happy Christmas and told them to go home.

Nell waved goodbye to Eric and practically skipped down the stairs to go and join her family for the holiday celebrations and Eric locked down OPS and headed home.

He walked in their apartment and poured himself a glass of egg nog while looking out over the twinkling lights of the city.

“Happy Christmas G.” he said mournfully.

As he did so his phone rang, unknown caller.

“Hello?” he said warily hoping this wasn’t a telemarketer.

“Happy Christmas E.” Callen said and Eric jumped.

“G? What? How!” he asked.

“I told Hetty I was seeing someone at home and I needed to call them,” Callen said the smirk in his voice at getting one over on Hetty was audible.

“You didn’t tell her….?” Eric left the question in the air.

“Nope…” Callen smirked, “I told her I was in love and I would tell her who when the time was right, but that I needed to tell them that I loved them and that I will celebrate Christmas with them as soon as I get home.”

Eric relaxed a bit, “I love you too G. Don’t worry everything will keep until you’re home. You need to know that Nell kissed me today…” he said holding his breath.

“Wow…what did you do?” Callen asked.

“I got embarrassed and so did she…I told her later on that I was seeing someone, turns out it was a mistletoe kiss she was only being friendly.

“Did she ask?” Callen wondered.

“She knows I’m gay, she’s known for years…I told her that I had met a guy and it was serious and I love him very much.”

“You told her?!” Callen was shocked.

“I was talking about us one day, you know without actually mentioning us and I accidentally said He instead of She…She’s good though, she’s known for a year, never said a word.”

“And you’re telling me now!” Callen sat on the deck in shock.

“Er…yeah…sorry love.” Eric apologized.

Callen laughed, “We’ll talk about it when I get back…oh and there’s a surprise under your pillow…happy Christmas baby.” He said, “I gotta go…Hetty’ll……”

Eric hung up as the phone lost signal with a smile.

Callen turned to look at Hetty watching him from the railing, “Did you get through to your girl Mr. Callen?” she asked.

Callen grinned, “I did thanks…she got kissed under the mistletoe at work today and was worried I’d be mad.”

Hetty took the phone with a smile, “I am glad you don’t let little things like jealousy come between you, I hope to meet her someday.”

Callen shrugged, “Someday.” He said non-committally heading back inside to join Kensi and Deeks.

And that was how their relationship went…Right up until the mess with Janvier.

* * *

 

Sam and Deeks had just gotten back to work after the Sidarov incident, the team had struggled to maintain its dynamic after Kensi and Deeks revealed that they were in a relationship and Hetty had sent Kensi to Afghanistan.

It had taken months and finally Kensi had come home to them and the team was settling back into their routine.

Then it happened.

Marcel Janvier had somehow killed a guard and escaped from prison.

It had been a normal morning, Callen had showered while Eric still slept and had made him breakfast, before taking the short car ride to his home for Sam to pick him up in the morning for their usual ride into work.

Hetty had woken to the news about Janvier and set about calling the team in.

Everyone arrived at work but Eric.

Sam and Callen had been sent to check out Eric’s apartment. Callen knew that there were no incriminating pictures of the pair of them in the main room and only one in their bedroom.

So when they cleared the apartment, Callen directed Sam to the places he knew held no incriminating evidence of the two of them together and quickly hid signs of his living there.

Sam walked out of the bathroom, “Two toothbrushes…looks like Eric had a girl over.”

Callen said nothing but couldn’t displace the worry in his gut.

They walked in the kitchen, the breakfast Callen had made had been eaten and a post it note left in it’s place.

**_Thank you for breakfast babe see you tonight xxx_ **

Eric had left on a clean plate on the table, Callen smiled. “Sweet.” He said aloud.

“What?” Sam said.

“Eric left a note, it’s sweet.” Callen remarked hoping Sam would let it go.

“Anything else?” Sam asked.

Callen shook his head, “Whatever the reason that Eric is late, nothing seems to have happened here.”

They locked the door filled Nell in and walked back to the car as Callen’s cell phone rang.

“Callen.” Callen said as he climbed into Sam’s car, thankfully Sam was still outside and didn’t see Callen tense up.

“I have the one you love Mr. Callen, I will make him rue the day he fell for you…do your colleagues know that you are gay?” Janvier laughed, “I never realized you swung that way Callen…”

“What do you want?” Callen asked quietly as Sam approached the car.

“Apart from your ultimate agony? Not much…however, a friend of mine is in need of some information and it will take you some time to gather it. If you do well, your lover will remain alive, if you do not…we will send him back to you piece by piece.”

“If you hurt him I’ll….!” Callen left the threat hanging in the air as Sam got in and Callen mouthed, ‘Call Nell…Janvier’

“He will be well looked after…I will call you later with the details of the information needed, this is need to know G. Callen…or you will be looking for another Technical operator.” Janvier said and the line went dead.

“Dammit!” Callen swore as he turned to Sam, “Anything?”

He waited as Sam asked Nell, “No…sorry,”

Callen turned to look out of the window as Sam started the car and they headed for Ops. He was mad and more than anything he didn’t want Sam to see him holding back the tears as he worried for his love.


	4. Chapter 4

He paced up and down in front of the screen at Ops, not as they thought wanting to see if Nell had any footage of Eric being taken, but biding his time till his next call from Janvier.

"There's nothing." Nell said in frustration.

She was annoyed Eric was her partner and her best friend. "I can't believe he didn't have cameras installed outside his apartment!" she snapped.

"What?" Callen asked pulled out of his own worry for a second.

"Well, Deeks, Kensi, Sam and I have cameras installed near the house just for this eventuality but you and Eric don't…I don't get it why?" Nell asked.

Callen shrugged, "I can't say why Eric doesn't," he lied, "But my house still looks empty, and with that blogger next door, cameras would give her something else to wonder about, she doesn't see me coming or going now so I'm hoping she'll soon think I've moved. Besides my house is empty, what is there to protect?" he asked.

"You." Nell replied.

Callen gave a dry laugh, "I can take care of myself, its Eric who need our help now." He said turning the subject back to the matter at hand. "Janvier must have been seen somewhere?"

"I have checked all airports nothing, I'm not even sure how he got out of prison, and all we do know is, from your phone call, he is out." Nell said sadly as Callen looked angry.

Sam walked in, "Anything Nell?" he asked.

She shook her head as Callen stormed out.

"What's wrong with him?" she asked.

Sam shrugged, "Callen is team leader, he's protective over all of us, I'm sure he'd be the same if it were you or me who was missing." He reasoned.

"No so…" Nell smiled wryly. "If it were you he'd have pulled LA apart by now."

Sam nodded with a smile, she was probably right.

* * *

Callen stormed into Hetty's office.

She looked up from her cup of tea and regarded the dark simmering anger that Callen was barely containing under the surface.

"Mr. Callen?" she said.

"Did you know that Janvier was out?" He asked.

Hetty shook her head, "I am waiting a call back from the governor of the prison that Janvier was being held at, they are conducting their own investigation right now."

"We should have been warned the moment they knew he was missing, then maybe…." He couldn't finish the sentence and he turned from Hetty.

"I understand you care a lot for Mr. Beale," Callen tensed as Hetty spoke, "We all do, just because you are the team leader, it doesn't make you at fault." She said.

Callen wanted to scream at her, that if he had given Eric a ride in this morning like he had promised rather than going in alone Eric would be safe, so it technically was his fault. But he said nothing.

"I can't believe we can't find him!" he sighed in frustration.

Hetty smiled, in an attempt to placate him, but all it did was make him angrier. "We will find him, and Mr. Beale is too smart for something to happen to him."

Callen couldn't stand it; to him it felt like no one cared, he stormed out of Hetty's office and headed to the gym.

* * *

Truth was everyone in their own way was hurting over the loss of Eric.

Kensi and Deeks headed to the prison and went to interview the governor as Hetty watched Callen head to the gym hoping that her senior agent wouldn't take the blame for what had happened to Eric and go lone wolf.

Sam came jogging down the stairs. "Mr. Hanna?" Hetty voice floated around him and Sam stopped and turned with a smile to Hetty.

"Yes Hetty?" he asked politely

"I am worried about Mr. Callen, Janvier knows how to push his buttons, and he seems to have found a weaker…member of the team to do it. I know he threatened to kill you at one point, I am assuming that he has discovered that both you and your wife are a hard…shall we say, nut to crack. I think he is hoping that Callen will break." She said.

"You think he might?" Sam asked concerned.

Hetty took a sip of tea and thought about her answer.

"How much has Mr. Callen told you about his time in the welfare system as a child?" she asked.

Sam looked confused at the question, "What does that have to do with what's going on now?"

"As a child, Mr. Callen often defended the weaker and younger children in the homes that he lived in, looking out for them against various forms of abuse, sometimes deliberately putting his own welfare at risk to save them; it is in essence a trait that makes him the loyal man that he is today… However, it also makes him venerable, Janvier has known about our Mr. Callen for a long, long time and because of the accident that gave Marcel Janvier his scar, Janvier decided that one day Mr. Callen would pay… In effect becoming his nemesis. He knows that if given a chance Callen will throw himself to the wolves to save Mr. Beale or any of you. I need you to keep an eye on him and make sure he doesn't do that." She ordered.

Sam nodded; the last thing he wanted was to lose a partner.

* * *

Callen took a swing at the punch bag his frustration coming out in waves. He needed to be out there, but they still had no leads on Eric's whereabouts.

The bag wasn't helping so he headed back to the locker room and got there just as his cell phone started ringing.

"Agent G. Callen." Marcel's voice came over the line.

"How is he?" Callen asked

"He is safe for now, and he will remain…alive…if you do as I ask." Janvier told him.

"What do you need?" Callen asked sinking to the floor and pulling his knees to his chest.

He could almost hear Janvier smile over the other end, "I need all the information you can find on Hetty Lange. She has been meddling too much in some affairs that do not concern her. I need the address of the houses she lives in and when I call again I want you to kill her."

"I can't do that!" Callen exclaimed.

Janvier never replied, Callen heard movement in the background and an ear splitting scream came from Eric.

"STOP!" Callen shouted, "Stop it!" he couldn't stop the tears that sprang to his eyes, "Please stop…" he begged.

"You lover has just broken his hand…I am thinking of working my way up." Janvier said.

Callen couldn't stop the tears from falling and he was glad he was alone, "Ok…Ok I'll do whatever you want just please, don't hurt him."

"I want every dirty little secret that little boss of yours has, everything…I am not an unreasonable man Agent G. Callen, I will give you a week, keep doing as you are told and I will not have to hurt you lover anymore, it would after all, be a shame if he were….damaged…in any way."

Janvier let the threat hang in the air.

"How do I get this to you?" Callen asked.

"All in good time Agent G. Callen, I wish to get to know your man here better." Janvier said smarmily down the phone. "I will contact you….obviously if you want him to be alive…you will not inform anyone…Also you should know, I can see you, curled up there like a child. Your man gave me access to the cameras in your building, I will know if you betray me…or worse him."

Callen looked towards the camera and Janvier laughed and talked away from the phone.

"Eric Beale, you may want to look and see the man you love, see how strong he is…"

Callen heard this and signed 'I love you.' in ASL knowing that if Eric saw it he would understand but no one else in the building hopefully would.

"I LOVE YOU!" Eric's voice was heard in the background followed by an, oomph as he was hit.

Janvier's voice came back on the phone again, "See, Agent G. Callen, you do have a heart…if you want to keep it, follow my instructions to the letter, if you want him back…remember I'll be watching." He said and hung up.

Callen dropped the phone and took a few deep breaths; he knew that he would have to be extra careful now. Both from his own team and from Janvier who could hurt Eric with one wrong move.

He got up and walked to a sink and washed his face, he changed in a toilet, not wanting to be observed. He walked out the door and straight into Sam.

"Are you ok?" Sam asked.

Callen nodded, still not trusting his voice and walked over to his laptop, wondering how the hell he was going to get all the secrets of a woman who was a riddle wrapped in an enigma.

 


	5. Chapter 5

Callen walked to his desk his gut still churning, he knew now that Janvier could see him and one false move would result in more harm coming to Eric.

"Any news Nell?" Sam asked as Nell walked into the bullpen.

She shook her head, "Does anyone know where Eric spent his off hours, anything he might have told you about himself?" she asked.

She knew he was gay, but she wasn't going to 'out' him in front of the whole team, not if there was a way she could avoid it.

Callen looked at his watch, "Look guys…it's nearly lunchtime, why don't you all go for something to eat my treat, take Hetty…she seems to be worked up over this, she needs a break…I'll watch the store." He offered.

The others nodded and Nell went to ask Hetty to lunch not noticing the look that Sam shot Callen.

Hetty smiled as she collected her purse and walked over to join them. "I wish you would reconsider Mr. Callen, a break and a clear head might be just what we need." She counseled.

Callen shook his head, "I'm gonna get some sleep, had a rough night." He lied.

Hetty wondered about what he said but for the sake of peace in the ranks took what he said at face value. "Very well, but I will have my cell phone with me if anything changes."

Callen nodded as he watched the group walk out and sighed knowing what was to come.

* * *

He waited five minutes until the ground floor was clear of support staff and then he went over to Hetty's desk.

He took his set of lock picks out of his pocket and picked the lock on her desk; he looked through her aliases in her top right hand drawer and opened the second drawer down as his phone rang.

"Lift that folder to the camera Agent G Callen." Janvier's voice slid like cold treacle down the line and Callen shuddered.

He lifted it to the camera, "Is that the one?" he asked.

"Who knows Agent Callen, is there anything else there."

He picked up a file that said Sylvia Pavlenko, "Just this," he said looking at the file.

"This is good..." Janvier said and stopped the same time that Callen did, he had seen a file with Callen G on it. "Bring that." He ordered. "And a few of those driving licenses they should have some addresses on go to those addresses and search them." Janvier ordered. "Oh and leave your resignation on Miss Lange's desk."

"My what?!" Callen stopped and nearly dropped the file.

Janvier smiled his side of the phone. "You didn't think I would leave you there long enough to alert your fellow agents as to your predicament…but then again you wouldn't want them to know anyway would you?" he laughed low and menacingly.

Callen smashed his fist onto the desk, but then sat heavily in the chair to write a note to Hetty. "What do you want me to say?"

Janvier smiled.

"Dear Miss Lange, You are the cause of all my pain, Eric is missing because I failed and I failed because you failed me. I cannot work here anymore. This is my resignation." He told Callen to write.

Callen wrote the note and placed it on her desk.

"Take your bag and leave…If you have double crossed me I will know, you have two hours to search Hetty's home and I will call you again with a time and place to meet up. Remember if I hear that you have let them know in anyway…" Janvier stopped as Eric screamed again in the background.

"God...NO!" Callen gasped, "I'm doing what you asked… please… Stop!"

"Very well, do not let me down." Janvier hung up the phone.

Callen walked the few strides from Hetty's office to the bullpen, shuffling as if the weight of the world were on his shoulders.

He took his bag and took a last look around, he hated to do this but he knew he had no choice.

With a practiced air of someone who knew how to leave places he did not want to and forcibly being moved on, he threw the bag over his shoulder and walked out the door.

* * *

He noticed Sam and Kensi's cars coming towards the mission and he jumped behind a low wall and waited until he was sure that they had moved on.

As he climbed back over the wall he did not see Nell notice him as she looked in the mirror of Hetty's car that had been following Kensi's.

She figured he must have dropped something and was heading for his lunch so said nothing.

Sam walked in first, "G! G, we got you lunch." He called.

Finding no one, he placed Callen's food on his desk and sat down to work at his desk.

Kensi and Deeks bantering as usual walked into the bullpen and sat down, "Callen was right we did need that break, I'm glad we took it, where is he anyway?" Kensi asked.

They looked around and noticed his bag was missing then heard Hetty gasp as she arrived at her office.

"Mr. Callen? Mr. Hanna?" she called.

Sam jogged over, "What's wrong Hetty?" he asked.

"Lock the main doors; my office has been broken into, where is Mr. Callen?"

Sam shook his head, "I don't know….You don't think…" he stopped as Hetty raised her hand and picked up the note on her desk.

Her hand shook as she opened it, she read the note and sank onto a chair, "Mr. Callen has quit."

For a second she looked defeated, but then she looked around her office again, she opened the drawer that had his file inside. It was missing, "Callen…Callen has stolen files from my office." She said her voice shaking.

"No, Hetty you can't be serious…This has got to be a mistake!" Sam exclaimed.

"Miss Jones, can you access the footage for my office for the past hour?" Hetty asked.

Nell grabbed her tablet from Sam's desk where she had left it earlier and called up the footage.

They watched as Callen walked over to Hetty's office, took the lock picks out of his pocket, and started rifling through her drawers. He stopped as his phone rang and they watched as he answered it, however due to the nature of the cameras in Hetty's office there was no sound, but the look of desperation on Callen's face was evident.

"I don't understand why would he do that?" Sam asked as they watched Callen seem to scream into his phone.

"I would surmise Mr. Hanna that Janvier has been in contact with our Mr. Callen and might be blackmailing him into giving him top secret information." Hetty looked up as her laptop bleeped. "Mr. Hanna, I think I know where Mr. Callen has gone, the Alarm has been tripped at my home in Encino, find him and bring him back here." She ordered.

Sam, Kensi and Deeks headed out the door.

* * *

Callen looked up as he picked the lock on Hetty's door, he knew he only had a small amount of time before her security system kicked in and the place was swarming with cops. He paced her hallway waiting for his phone to ring.

"I'm here!" he said hurriedly as after a long minute it finally rang.

"You sound worried?" Janvier's voice mocked him.

"I want to talk to Eric; I need to know you haven't hurt him anymore." Callen asked.

"G?" Eric's voice wobbled as he replied on the phone.

"E…are you ok?" Callen asked.

"It hurts, but I'm ok…he hasn't hurt me again."

"Eric…where...?" Callen stopped as Janvier's voice cut in.

"Agent G. Callen, I know what you are doing, stalling for time until you get arrested. You are putting your loves life in danger, now, you are to break into Hetty Lange's safe; she has a black box with a small amount of botulism saved from one of your cases, you will take it and place it inside her tea caddy."

"I…I can't…." Callen looked at the phone, and dropped it as Eric screamed again. "STOP!" Callen yelled picking up the phone his hands shaking. "Please Janvier; I can't murder Hetty not like that."

"I am nothing if not generous Agent G Callen, if you will not do that then I have a backup plan, but this involves you making a sacrifice…"

"Anything…please don't hurt him…" Callen pleaded.

"You are too late…you broke the rules you have one chance left to save him. You will inject yourself with the vial if you get the information in your possession to me in time, then you may have the antidote and your lover."

"Broke the rules I didn't…?" Callen started and stopped as Eric screamed until he was doing nothing more than groaning.

"Wait….wait!" Callen injected himself, "I've done it,"

"Show me." Janvier ordered.

Callen took a photo of the injection site and the empty syringe.

"Very well Agent G Callen," Janvier moved his mouth away from the phone, "Take him and move him to the pickup point."

"Where are you taking him?" Callen asked as he heard a car pull up outside.

"I will tell you soon, do not lose that information Agent Callen, that is your payment for your antidote and your love, if you can't do it then he will die….you have ten minutes."

Janvier hung up and Callen ran over to the window, "No?!" He breathed as Sam, Deeks and Kensi climbed out of the car.

He knew this might get him shot but he slid down Hetty's banister, files in a bag over his shoulder and gun in hand.

Sam opened the door, gun in hand, "Federal Agent!" he called as he entered the house.

He looked up as a dark blur slid down the banister and collided with his chest.

"Callen?!" Kensi said raising her gun.

"Back off Kens, please." Callen looked quickly at Sam on the floor and backed out the door.

"G…Stop!" Sam said coughing as a spasm hit him.

"I…I can't…Sorry Sam." Callen backed out the door and ran for Hetty's driveway, jumping into Sam's Challenger knowing, full well Sam would have left the keys in the car and he peeled out down the driveway and through the large wrought iron gates.

"CALLEN!" Kensi called after him as she, ran towards the car torn between upholding her duty and firing at Callen and not wanting to hurt her friend.

Deeks helped Sam up and they headed for the car.

Sam glared at Kensi who handed him the keys to the car. "I don't know what the hell is going on with him, but I swear I'm gonna kill him."

 


	6. Chapter 6

Filling Hetty in on what had happened at her house Sam sat next to Kensi as she drove a few car lengths behind Callen, he was trying every trick in the book to lose them.

Callen was driving erratically, not just, because he could see Kensi's car in the rearview mirror, but also because he was starting to have trouble focusing as the botulinum toxin he had injected started to work through his system.

Eventually, he gave up. He pulled up and leaned against the car sweat pouring down his face.

"WHAT THE HELL G!" Sam shouted as he climbed out of Kensi's car and stormed towards him.

"I can't drive anymore Sam, I'm not gonna make it…Give these to Janvier…"he slid down the side of the car as his phone rang again.

"I'm coming."Callen snapped as he answered the phone.

"Tick tock Agent G. Callen…time is running out for you both…" Janvier gloated.

"I'm stuck in traffic, but I am coming…"Callen waved his hand to make sure Sam said nothing.

"Very well, I will text the final destination for you, to your phone…remember if you are too late; it will be your final destination." Janvier laughed as he said it.

"Is he ok?" Callen asked needing to know.

"You will have to hurry and find out."Janvier hung up

Callen looked up at Sam from his vantage point on the floor, "Please…Sam…I can't drive anymore, I need to get there or he'll kill Eric."

Sam hauled Callen up by his arms, he was still pissed, "Get in the car G and give me the address."

"You can't call Nell Ops is bugged." G told them.

"I should be arresting you G, you broke into Hetty's office and house, she's gonna kill you."Sam snapped.

"She'd better hurry then." G snapped and looked out of the window as Sam started the car and it drove towards its destination.

Sam shot a look at his partner; he looked terrible, even more than he had for the past few days since Eric had disappeared.

"G, what's going on, you stole from Hetty and broke into her house!"

Callen looked away, "it's important Sam…Janvier, he has Eric you know this." He coughed as the toxin started to take effect, "Speed up, I need to be there soon."

"Why?" Sam asked annoyed. "We should plan this out…"

"No time…Sam…Eric needs us now." Callen looked away as a wave of pain shot across his torso. He pulled the gun he had in his waistband and pointed it at Sam. "Drive faster." He snarled.

Sam looked hurt; Callen had never been like this before.

"I like Eric as much as you do, but he knew what he signed up for, honestly G, he's just the tech geek." Sam snapped glancing over at the gun.

Callen looked away as he swallowed the lump in his throat.

"Down there." Callen said shortly pointing to the road where he noticed Eric's car. "Leave me here; if he see's you he'll hurt him."

"G, you need back up, he could kill you." Sam said worried.

Callen shook his head, "Doesn't matter…not now…" he grabbed the information and started walking.

"G I can't let you give that information to Janvier." Sam said as Kensi and Deeks pulled up behind them.

Callen stumbled as he turned his eyes full of sorrow, "I have to do this Sam, shoot me if you have to…hell wait here and when Janvier leaves shoot him, but I need to do this…I won't leave Eric there."

Callen pulled himself up and started walking towards the warehouse, when he stopped dead.

Sam, Kensi and Deeks followed his lead and saw Janvier exiting the warehouse with a bruised and bloody Eric with a bomb vest strapped on being pushed in front of him.

Callen was shaking, he couldn't help it. Eric looked terrified and it was all his fault, he had set Janvier on this course of action, he had hurt him and started this 'game' with him.

"What the hell G, let us in….G?...G!" Sam shouted as Callen stumbled towards Janvier.

Callen held the information aloft, "I have it, Janvier…I have what you wanted, take that off him, let him go!"

Kensi and Deeks shot each other a look of concern at the fear in their team leader's voice.

Deeks spoke to the air, "Do you have eyes on this Nell?" he asked.

Nell's voice came over comms to Sam, Kensi and Deeks. "I can see you guys, oh my God is Eric wearing a bomb?!" she asked.

"Looks like it." Deeks replied grimly.

"Tell Mr. Callen he has permission to hand over the information," Hetty said, "Bring Mr. Beale back alive. You have a confirmed kill order on Janvier."

Deeks moved to tell Callen as he stumbled again.

"What's wrong with Callen?" Nell asked.

"I don't know?" Sam replied, "He's been like this since he ran from Hetty's house."

They stayed behind him, but Janvier's voice rang out clear echoing off the walls of the building around them.

"You were to come alone, Agent G. Callen, that was our deal."

"I tried…God I tried, it worked to fast, I couldn't drive, and I brought what you asked for let him go."

"G?" Eric looked terrified and in ops Nell's heart ached for the terror her friend was going through.

Callen's head snapped up at Eric's voice, he couldn't stop the tears that fell now, he was unashamedly crying.

"I have the information that has to be worth something."

Janvier smiled, "It is worth something…but what…The man you…"

"Eric…let him go…that's all I want…" Callen pleaded.

Eric shook his head, "No…No…NO….G…NO…you need the antidote…I'm not worth that."

Callen moved to give Janvier the papers as a shot rang out and he fell to the floor.

Eric moved as fast as he could and grabbed Janvier's arm, "He has a dead man switch!" he called clasping his hand around Janvier's now dead hand.

Callen dropped the papers, not caring that the information was sensitive and ran towards them.

"ERIC!" he screamed his eyes focused on the switch in Eric and Janvier's combined hands. He wrapped his hands around Eric's looking into his eyes, "Hold on baby, we'll get you out of this." He said.

"I've got the switch G, you need to look for the antidote." Eric said as Sam and Deeks caught up with them.

"Eric, you ok?" Sam asked.

"Janvier has a dead man's switch and you may have noticed I'm wearing a bomb." Eric said.

Sam looked at Callen who was holding Janvier's and Eric's hand with one hand, keeping it closed and searching the body with his other hand.

Callen stopped searching as Sam started defusing the vest.

Callen was barely holding in the shaking, he knew that his time was limited, and now…after all this, he didn't care.

He stood up shakily as Sam finally took the vest off Eric, "You're safe Eric, there's an ambulance on the way, Hetty wants you to…."

Sam stopped as Callen pushed past him and wrapped his arms around Eric and kissed him.

Sam watched as the two came together, not caring who was watching and Callen gathered his secret love in his arms, a huge sigh of relief flooding through him and he wondered how he could I have missed it?

He was an ex-Navy SEAL, he was a trained investigator and he had missed this?

He grinned despite himself, at least he and Michelle could stop setting G up on blind dates now.

Sam stepped back, saw the surprised looks on Deeks and Kensi's faces, and grinned.

"Did you know?" Deeks asked in a hushed voice, unwilling to disturb the couple.

Sam shook his head, "No but it explains the last few days don't you think?" he said.

Deeks and Kensi could do nothing but nod, their mouths open.

"I'm ok G," Eric said running his hand down Callen's face, "You found the antidote didn't you?" he asked.

Callen stepped back, "You need to stay safe Eric, I love you, you know that right?"

Eric looked at him as he moved away, he reached for him, but again Callen moved out of his way.

"G?" Eric looked stricken, "Tell me you found it?" he pushed past G and headed towards Janvier.

Callen grabbed him again, "Eric…go to the hospital, get checked out, don't worry about me."

Eric grabbed Callen by the shirt, "Sam…did he find it?" Eric asked searching around for any sign that Callen had found the antidote.

"Find what?" Sam asked looking around.

"There isn't one." Callen said flatly, "its Janvier's revenge…he won…but you will live…Eric live for me…" Callen pulled him close and stared into his worried blue eyes; he kissed him deeply and staggered falling onto the sidewalk.

"G! NO!" Eric cried crouching down, cradling his lovers head in his lap. "Where are the paramedics, G's been poisoned…"

Sam looked over at him, "When? What with?" he asked.

Eric looked more terrified than he had since Sam had first seen him, "He was forced to inject himself with something from Hetty's safe…I think its botulism."

Over the earwig Sam heard Hetty gasp…"No…it's not…it's cyanide…I had Cyanide in my safe…"

Callen looked up, he was too tired. "I love you Eric…" he sighed and lost consciousness.


	7. Chapter 7

His last thought as his world went black was a comforting one, Eric was safe, He would live a full and happy life and Janvier, like him was dead, but oh, he would miss Eric.

As the lights went out on him, every happy moment in his life went through his mind and he was not surprised to find most of them contained Eric, his soothing touches when G had had a bad day. His kisses at night when the day was done and they were finally alone.

The one night in ops, when Eric had been working late and everyone had gone home, Callen had come back after watching Hetty leave, and they had had a candlelight meal, just the two of them in Ops while the computers were quietly defragging in the background.

Eric holding him as he shared the footage Deeks had found, whilst reaffirming to him that he was loved.

He had expected… what? Fluffy white clouds maybe? His family…well his mother and sister anyway…but nope nothing. He moved and felt something pull at his arms.

"G?..." Eric's voice cut through the fuzz in his brain.

"E…what…no…not you…you weren't supposed to die." Callen croaked a small tear rolling from the corner of his eye.

Eric ran his hand over Callen's head comforting him.

"I'm not dead baby, neither are you…you can wake up you're in a hospital."

Callen smiled, Eric was not dead. "Make me…" he smirked still asleep.

Eric looked around at the other person sitting there but he knew Callen had already outed them and they were, he hoped, happy for them.

Therefore, he leaned over and gave Callen a chaste kiss to wake him up.

Still with his eyes closed, Callen wrapped his arm around Eric's neck and pulled him in deepening the kiss.

Hetty coughed as they parted and Callen's eyes shot open in horror.

"Hetty?!" he squeaked.

* * *

Eric gave a small nervous laugh and helped him sit up. "Err yeah G she's been here a while."

He groaned as his muscles ached, "What happened, I thought I was dead?" he admitted.

"You would have been had not been for Mr. Beale having the foresight to tell us you had injected yourself with the contents of the vial in my safe. After a large injection of vitamin B12 to counteract the symptoms it appears you will be fine." Hetty told him.

"How long have I been out?" He asked noticing that Eric was showered, changed and looking a hell of a lot better than when he had last seen him.

"Five days G…I haven't been so scared in my entire life," Eric admitted grasping Callen's hand.

"I as well as your team was concerned for your welfare." Hetty added.

"Not my team Hetty, I quit remember." Callen said with a yawn, as he felt tired.

"Did you want that to stand Mr. Callen?" Hetty asked looking over at her agent with concern.

Callen looked back as immovable as he had ever been, "I don't know Hetty, you tell me. You planning to move Eric or myself now you know? Or firing one of us, because if the answer is yes then I do want it to stand, the team needs Eric he's the best technical operator you have and I won't leave him because you think it's best for the team…I'm done doing what is best for the team. For once I'm doing what is best for me and Eric is best for me." Callen stated firmly.

Hetty had trouble not smiling at that. Finally, her boy had something he cared about enough that he was willing to hold on tightly to it.

"So this is a long term relationship Mr. Callen….not a fling?"

"I love him…" Callen said simply holding Eric's hand, "He knows me, not an alias, but me, flaws and all and he loves me…He's…"Callen stopped no knowing how to phrase it, "He's my home." He said simply.

Hetty wiped her eyes at the tears that statement caused her. She gulped and turned to Eric, "And you Mr. Beale, I take it this relationship with Mr. Callen is not a dalliance on your part."

"No…I love G, he's perfect and accepts me for my flaws and faults."

"You don't have any." Callen interrupted and Eric laughed.

"I have flaws G, which is why we still live in my cramped apartment and not your house," Eric said with a small laugh.

"Hetty knows now…I can get internet…wanna move?" Callen asked.

Eric smiled, "What live in your mortgage paid house and not have to pay the exorbitant rent on my tiny apartment…you bet your cute buns I do." He laughed as Hetty grimaced a little.

"Mr. Callen, you still have a week to do in here until the doctors are willing to let you leave, I can if you wish help Mr. Beale with moving to your house, but I insist we upgrade security and Mr. Beale's internet connection."

Eric smiled and Callen nodded carefully as his head ached.

"You aren't going to take him away from me?" Callen asked looking at her concerned.

Hetty smiled, "No Mr. Callen, you keep your relationship out of the office and I can assure you there will be no complaints from me."

"Well we haven't done so bad so far." Callen said

Hetty looked confused, "Sorry?"

Eric grinned, "We've been in a relationship since Callen was shot…about 5 years now."He admitted and both men were rewarded with a rare look of surprise on Hetty's face.

"You never told me…" she said looking over at Callen.

"I didn't want you to take him away from me." Callen said looking away as Hetty stood up.

She walked over to him and placed a hand on his shoulder, "Mr. Callen you have found what I have wanted for you for a long, long time. I must admit, Eric was not who I had envisaged you falling for, especially when you told me last Christmas that you had a girlfriend." She looked slightly amused at the ashamed look Callen gave her. "All I have wanted is for you to find a place you felt that you belonged."

"I do Hetty, with Eric I really do." He said grabbing her hand and pulling her into a hug. "Thank you," he whispered into her ear and she smiled.

* * *

Eric looked around, his furniture had all been unpacked and Nell was sitting cross-legged on his sofa, reconfiguring his new Wi-Fi signal as he handed her a takeout carton.

"This is an impressive set up Beale." Nell grinned, "I may have to see if Hetty will pay to have me upgraded,"

"You never know Nell…you might get lucky…ooh," Eric reached into the box next to her, "Is that a fortune cookie."

Nell put her tablet down, "It's mine." She said grinning at Eric as he reached for it.

Within seconds she had it and he was chasing her around the couch, he reached over and snatched it out of her hand falling over the couch with her in a heap and they landed laughing on the floor.

He sat up and handed it to her and she split the cookie with him, He took the paper out and read the fortune. "With the right people life is perfect." He read aloud.

Nell nodded, "That's true." She admitted.

He leaned back and took a sip of his beer, "You guys have been great getting me all moved in, G'll be stoked when he sees what you did."

"I think it was their way of making up for not being able to see him in the hospital," Nell said.

Eric nodded, "G understands. At least you got the case solved. He's chomping at the bit to come home." He sighed.

Nell smiled at him, "You miss him don't you?" she said.

Eric nodded as he smiled wistfully, "I do, I really do, I mean…this is a big step, we've always had his house or my house, I'm hoping that now I've gotten rid of my apartment he doesn't feel like I'm too much, you know?" he asked.

Nell looked at her best friend and thought for a second, "You two have basically been living together for over a year, has he done anything to make you feel like you are too much?" she asked.

Eric shook his head and took another drink, "No…but…I don't want to hurt him…even by accident."

"Then don't." Nell said, "You all ready for him coming home tomorrow?" she asked.

Eric nodded, "Yeah…he's still got to take it easy for a week, before he can go back to work, but he's coming home and I can't wait."

"So…before he gets here, we have the house to ourselves…are you thinking what I'm thinking?" Nell grinned looking him up and down suggestively.

He grinned and passed her the Xbox controller, "Left 4 dead marathon?" he asked.

She nodded and got settled. "Start her up." She grinned as Eric put in the disc.

Relaxing Eric looked over at his best friend, he had missed this and was glad that she could come over to his place and do this now.

* * *

Sam knocked on Callen's door as he sat on the bed doing up the last few buttons on his shirt.

"Hey…you decent?" He asked.

Callen nodded, "Yeah I'm fine, come in." he grinned.

"Eric asked me to pick you up, he says to not rush," Sam grinned.

Callen looked at him quizzically, "What's he planning?" he asked.

"I have no idea, but it involved him and Michelle and the grill in the backyard. I have no intention of upsetting my wife; I assume you don't want to upset yours."

Callen laughed, "Eric is  _ **not**_  my wife!" he exclaimed.

"Potato, Po **ta** to." Sam shrugged as he picked up G's bag.

He walked out of the hospital with Callen following as they made their way to the challenger. "So seriously Sam, what are my boyfriend and your wife doing?"

Sam threw G's bag in the back and climbed into the car, "I don't know, Michelle was giving him tips on something."

G yawned as he put the seatbelt on in the car, "I'm shattered already, I was hoping to talk Hetty into letting me back early."

"No way G, you need to take your recovery, that was a huge amount of Cyanide that went into your system and you need to follow doctor's orders." Sam insisted.

Callen nodded, not looking at him.

He watched the world out of the window on the drive back; he realized that he might have missed this, missed this extra time with Eric, if he had died. It scared him.

He finally realized how much he actually had to lose, and it scared him.

"How do you do it?" he asked

"What?" Sam asked confused.

"You have a wife and a kid that rely on you being there, that love you, how do you go to work every day and put that in danger, put yourself in danger?"

"The same way you do, we don't think about that, we do it for the greater good, for their safety, I do it to make the world a better place for my wife and daughter. Why are you asking G?" Sam asked worried.

"I don't want to lose him Sam; I don't want to go through that again." Callen said his voice barely audible over the car's engine.

Sam pulled over and stopped the car, "G are you saying you don't wanna come back to work?" he asked.

Callen shook his head, "I love my job, I am still amazed after all this Hetty let me have it back, but I am so close…I have everything I ever wanted, someone to love me, a place …a home…but I couldn't let Eric go through all that again, because of me."

"He won't G, you won't…we didn't know last time, you hadn't told us so we had no idea that you were going through all that pain and heartache, I know it's hard for you to let people in, but trust us, we will be here for you we are a family G."

* * *

They pulled up outside the house, Callen looked in through the window, and smiled, it did look like a home now, furniture in it, curtains at the windows and people moving around inside.

He saw Kensi's car, along with Hetty's and Nell's parked along the street.

"So everyone's here then?" Callen asked as he stepped out of the car.

"Looks like it," Sam smiled, "And something smells good."

Callen smiled, "Yeah, Eric is a great cook." He admitted.

"So you don't just love him for his body?" Sam joked as Callen looked shocked.

"SAM!" he exclaimed.

The door opened and they went in following the smell of steaks on a grill.

"We're back!" Sam announced as they walked into the garden.

Eric was across the garden talking to Deeks as Sam called out, he turned and broke into a huge smile; Callen dropped his bag and forgot that there were other people there as they walked across the garden to meet each other.

Callen pulled Eric into his arms and kissed him deeply.

"Hey…" Eric said softly as they broke apart to the clapping of their teammates.

"Hey yourself babe, I missed you." Callen sighed.

"I made burgers G, come and eat." Eric said pulling Callen over to the grill.

Callen grabbed a soda and wrapped an arm around Eric's waist as he turned to talk to Hetty.

He wasn't listening; it didn't matter, as he stood there with a smile on his face.

He was home.

 


End file.
